The Top Ten Ways to Beat Mid-Summer Physics Ennui

• 10. Quantize gravity using only F=ma and common table salt.
  
• 9. Taunt the construction workers about the opaque window.
  
• 8. Enter the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes--for the thrill of it!
  
• 7. Shoot a whole mess o' lawyers.
  
• 6. Make bogus pledges of $100,000 or more to your college alumni fund.
  
• 5. Prove Fermat's Last Theorem.
  
• 4. Turn the ITP into a GIANT MUD PIT! 3. Write witty and urbane top ten lists.
  
• 2. Find a politically correct name for the Big Bang.

  And the number one way to beat mid-summer physics ennui...

• Eat library paste until you hurl.